Got this forwarded message from my inbox two days ago. The responses this got from fellow yahoo group members were so overwhelming that is why I am re-printing it here:
To those who are married,.. not married.. and soon to
be married..
MARRIAGE
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I
held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly.
Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had
to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce.
I raised the topic calmly.
She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she
asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry.
She threw away the chopsticks
and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night,
we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping.
I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to
our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer;
she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn’t love her anymore.
I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce
agreement which stated that she could own our house,
our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces.
The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me
had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time,
resources and energy but I could not take back what I had
said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly
in front of me, which was what I had expected to see.
To me her cry was actually a kind of release.
The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several
weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found
her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper
but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because
I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing.
I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions:
she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s
notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month
we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons
were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she
didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more,
she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal
room on our wedding day.
She requested that every day for the month’s duration
I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning.
I thought she was going crazy.
Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted
her odd request. I told Dew about my wife’s divorce conditions.
She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter
what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my
divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried
her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy.
Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms.
His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to
the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters
with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly;
don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat
upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for
the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily.
She leaned on my chest I could smell the fragrance of her blouse.
I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time.
I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles
on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her.
For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of
intimacy returning.
This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was
growing again. I didn’t tell Dew about this.
It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by.
Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried
on quite a fewdresses but could not find a suitable one.
Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger.
I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that
was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and
bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out
and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said,
Dad, it’s time to carry mum out.
To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had
become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to
our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my
face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this
last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the
bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand
surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly;
it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day,
when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step.
Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t
noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to the office… jumped out of the car swiftly without
locking the door.
I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…
I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her,
Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.
Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head.
Sorry, Dew, I said, I won’tdivorce.
My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t
value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love
each other any more.
Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on
our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until deaths do us apart.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap
and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked
downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers
for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card.
I smiled and wrote,
I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
The small details of your lives are what really matter
in a relationship.
It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money
in the bank,
blah..blah.. blah. These create an environment
conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in
themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s
friend and do those little things for each other
that build intimacy.
Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage.
My StumbleUpon Page
