FatherlYours.com

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When I was young:

I still remember the days when I would buy Parenting books before my first child was born. When I decided to take care of lovebirds, I would also buy books about lovebirds. It has been my way of learning. Books coupled with research and by asking other people’s personal experiences on matter that interest me.

I would buy cassette tapes of nursery rhyme and children stories, encyclopedia and other educational toys for them in preparation for their schooling. I would buy them toys that I myself never have the chance to play when I was a kid. I always wanted to buy for them what I think they would need later on. I decided for them. These last two sentences is my greatest mistake as I realize and I would tell you later.

Those were the Days:

When they were young, I have to spank them when I think it is necessary but I have to explain to them the reason why. When we have a visitor and they are not behaving well, one look at them and they know what I wanted them to do is to be quite. I am strict and disciplinarian as what my Chinese father showed us. I decided what I think is good for my family.

The Awakening:

One time when two of my daughters were already in high school my wife and me had a misunderstanding about decision-making. Right there, like a bubble bursting with anger she told me what she and our children felt. Yes I would ask for their opinion but I never listen to them. My ego was crushed like a castle being flattened after being hit by Intensity 7 quake. I was dumbfounded. But it opened up my mind to the realization that my children are not happy as I expected them to be. My parenting technique is an old fashioned traditional style “where father knows best”.

Now I know:

I think I have evolved and could call myself a thinking Daddy. I have adjusted my style of dealing with my children as I grow older and as they were too. I have learned a lot also from my wife and my kids. I am a disciplinarian but cool daddy as my children would tell me. I act now more as a friend than a daddy I used to be.

Parenting for me is like traveling in a two way street. We must listen and give way to other as much as we wanted to be given way. Like a pedestrian, you have to stop, look and listen before making your final move to cross the street.

As the saying goes “There is no such thing as right or wrong but thinking made it so”. If my style of parenting is good or bad, only time could tell. But for now I enjoy every minute of being a “Cool” daddy.

What’s your style of Parenting?

Please see my earlier post: To My Children

This is my official entry to PPBC 6 hosted by Guardian Angel : What type of Parent are you?

By the way, this carnival has been started by Doc Joey who we can also call The Working Mom.